I WISH I NEVER MET HIM

It was the 27th of July, 2011. I had morning lecture so I hurriedly prepared to be there on time before the over demanding lecturer decides to stop entrance into the hall. Even though I had a wristwatch, I couldn’t tell if I was late or not. I met my friend, Kacy on the way and I knew I was early because Kacy was never late.

As we sat down, the lecturer who seemed to be the most significant if all dies were cast, walked in and began his lecture. If I were a computer, I would say I had a virus which made me malfunction because for the first time in my life, that part of me that couldn’t observe anything during lecture was completely gone. As I looked about in my ignorance of being lost, my eyes went forward and I saw someone who became my object of study throughout lecture and I wished I could talk to him.

I joined a study group which my friend told me about and was happy when I heard and saw that he was in that group. I just didn’t understand the cause of my happiness.

A week after I joined the group, the group leader divided us in two’s based on area of study. He and I were in the same group.

I believe in fate, so I didn’t think it was a mere coincidence. I summed it all up, ‘he was meant for me and I for him.’

It was no surprise rather joy when he asked me out a month later. I couldn’t be so easy to get so I told him I needed time to think it over. On my way home that day, I was so full of joy. I wanted to scream for joy and at the same time I thought of if to reply him verbally or through text. I remember I had a familiar voice calling out my name but I don’t remember seeing any of my friends or even building on my way. I seemed to fly.

After two days, I accepted his proposal and on our first date, he told me to keep our relationship a secret, he said he wanted the news of our end to come as a blast especially to his parents. I needed not to think about his reason for saying so cause he already gave me one and what he meant by ‘our end’, I didn’t bother to understand.

How easily I fell for him. I was so intrigued by his personality. I loved the sweet names he called me, I loved the way he looked at me, how much he reminded me of his true love. I allowed him to prove his love for me in the way he thought best.

I was so lost in the republic of love birds. I loved him and I thought he loved me too. I had little time for my friends cause he was always there and he made my school work easy too. We had dates, did our assignments together and so many other things.

On the week of my final exams, he told me needed to travel. He said he didn’t know when he’ll be back so he’d call me often. It was a lie, throughout my exams he dared not call me. When the results were out, I was so happy to have passed that I ran down to his house thinking we could finally be together forever. I knocked several times but no one answered. I looked and saw his shoes outside and the shoes of a female, a bright red heel. Maybe his sister, I thought. It took about 15minutes for him to open the door. As he came out, a lady followed him from behind with the same wrapper that I had tied. I saw lipstick on his face and the stern look when he asked, ‘Who are you?’

I couldn’t say anything, I just moved away thinking of reason to justify him but when I found none, I broke down in years. Only then did it occur to me, he was a fake, a scam. He robbed me of my dignity as a woman. I offered myself to him, I imagined my world with him.

I entered my hostel room crying, no one knew why so no one could console me. I cried, keeping my pains to myself. I wished he had never left me.

I couldn’t spend the whole of my days counting my loss. I got a job and was well paid. Sometimes I didn’t know what to do with money, I wished for true love. My wish was granted and the space occupied when I introduced myself to Kitt Ronald. And although I’ve been married for three years now with a kid, I still wish I had never met Chris Harrison.

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